A whole bunch.

If you can't tell, I haven't been out in a while. I'm either at home or at the library or else in class, which is fine with me. It's all apart of my cleansing. But I miss my friends to death! I can't wait to see them.

Everyday I find something in my room that I need to get rid of. I have discovered where I get my pack-rat sensibility from, my parents. Of course! They would leave a bunch of empty printer cartridges around. For what? Who really knows. When I tell them that we have these little baggies that you can put in the mailbox so they get recycled, my dad puts them to the side and leaves them there. The mailman won't come into our house and take it, you have to put it in the mailbox! They seem to want to save everything, from clothes that are way too big, to branches from the trees?! What?! Why?! My father responds by saying matter-of-factly, "To make my own firewood." Of course! Really? Is that necessary? I think my dad just might be a granola-eating, tree-hugging, hippie. He is kind of deep and I do suspect he smoked some of that purp when he was in Ohio. My father, my favorite.

So this post was supposedly for me to rant about how I detest Valentine's day, but I'm sure it seems that way because I'm bitter and single. Hah! Not bitter, actually. But I just don't understand why one day out of the year, couples are supposedly more in love and that's evident by the sold out roses and chocolates. In my mind, everyday should be like that. I should be showered with love every second! Ok, I lie. But really? If I were to settle, I'd rather have every day be semi-mediocre than have a rollercoaster of a relationship and one day where I get chocolate covered strawberries at my doorstep (hint: this is right out of chapter of my life (isn't everything here )). That is because those strawberries and the rest of the pink and red colored world remind me that not everyday is like this and it should be, at least in my world.

Why can't I have a love that makes me want to draw pictures of "me and you" everyday? Why can't I have a love that makes me want to make you mixed cds of stupid love songs everyday? Why can't I have a love that makes me want to cook you dinner every night?

Because I haven't found that love.
I can be that girl, but I need to find that boy that makes me want to try that hard.

P.S. Now that may just be the weirdest post ever.

Moments

Moments like these are the best.

I had moments like these once. I wish I could remember them better. I wish I didn't take them for granted, because moments like these don't last forever.

In retrospect, I wish I had cherished them more.

Pucca?

Um I'm pretty upset. I was on iTunes just now and I guess they have the Pucca tv show in English. I was obsessed with this girl in high school. I have slippers, pillows, backpacks, pencil pouches, cards. It was just a lot, well now Disney is distributing her and they got it all wrong! They think she's Chinese when she is clearly Korean. Oh jeez. Why does America have to ruin all the good stuff?

Like My Sassy Girl, they turned it into an American movie and it didn't even come out in theaters. Whatevvss!

LSAT Word of the Day

hitherto: up to this time, until now

This word to me was hitherto unknown.
I'm going to use it all the time now.

LSAT is in two weeks. This time I feel so different. I'm going to conquer it. My brain and heart are in the right places. I will not be distracted. After, I will reward myself with presents and friends! Haha.

Gong Hay Fat Choy

Let's look ahead:

The OX year is a conservative year, one of traditions and values. This is not a year to be outrageous. A slow but steady year.

This OX year will bring stability and growth where patience and diligence pays off.

This is a year of Harvest - when we reap what we have sown. Take care of business this year, do not let things slide.

For the Rabbits out there:

The year of the OX is well suited to the rabbit nature. The slower pace of this year will see you spending more time with friends and family. A good year to upgrade your home, or for buying or selling a house.

So here's to a new year (once again). I guess it's time to slow down and take care of business.

Madness.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like volcanoes and then subsides."

— Louis de Bernières

Yes please.

These guys are so hot. Have you heard their other song "Girls on the Dance Floor"? Check it!

Late Night Reflection

So here's for some late night reflection.

I might just date like a guy. Maybe.
At this time in my life, I'm not ready for commitment and I'm sure it's obvious.
I tend to do things on my terms without really checking to see if the other person is on the same page. I end up just leaving, and with no explanation. This is probably a bad habit. You know how Barney has that template he leaves at girl's houses saying he's a ghost, maybe this is what I do. That's not good. But I'm not going to change how I am in a relationship just to fit my gendered role. There's nothing wrong with dating like a guy. Sure we complain about how guys are jerks and douches for just not being that into us, but honestly, if you aren't that into him either, you'd drop him. So maybe I don't date like a guy, instead I date like how I date, like me. I wouldn't want you to waste my time, so maybe I'm being considerate (for once) and not trying to waste yours.

But the most important person in my life right now is me. Sure that sounds selfish but I've been putting someone else in a higher priority than I had put myself in the past 4 or 5 years. Now it's my turn.

I'm studying like I should and how I wanted to. I have no distractions except for the ones I make myself. There are no other obligations that I have to anyone else. This is an amazing time in my life right now. To put myself first is hard getting used to, but right now, it's pretty eye-opening.

The thing is I still have that old habit of wanting the comfort of someone else. That bond that you create to know that someone is on the other end of the phone, that someone is listening to you when you talk to yourself. I used to crave that but now, even this late there isn't someone on my mind that I would want to call. Does this mean I'm growing into my own? After 21 years I finally am not grasping on to someone else. I can maybe, just maybe, hold my own.

Sharp

Excuse me, where can I find one of these?

A sharp looking gentleman makes my heart swoon.

Gosh, I'm so superficial.

But this is what Barney means when he says, "Suit up."

Go Tina!

"Whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free . . . your true self comes out."

— Tina Turner

A Cup o' Tea

I've been feeling frazzled lately. All that has been on my mind is the LSAT. I haven't watched tv in a week. I haven't talked to my friends in like two days. That's really a long time for us. But I talked to Joann and she reassured me that she won't hate me for being away and for not having that much time anymore. I no longer have the leisure to go out except to go to the library, which is interestingly bizarre. I'm such a noisy. I always wonder what the other person is studying when I should be studying myself.

I felt so exhausted that I wanted a nap, but instead I took to knitting and a cup of milk tea. It's really soothing. I'm such an old lady. I love it. =)

Oh, so I wanted a Sprinkles cupcake yesterday and when I woke up and checked facebook this morning, someone send me an anonymous cupcake! It made me smile but I don't know who sent it, which probably makes it more exciting. Hehe.

I hate that my future is based on this test. How badly do I want it? So badly.

Edit: Also I wanted to mention I sometimes feel that my radio is talking to me. The music that comes out is so in tune with my current events that it's crazy.

This is True.

You play the hand you’re dealt. I think the game’s worthwhile.

— CS Lewis

The game is the best and worst part of it.

Un tissu de mensonges

J'espère que je ne me sens pas ça.

J'espère que je serai meilleure.

Aujourd'hui est le jour.

Je ne ferai plus ça.

J'ai fini.

Pour l'imagination

I guess when I post, I post alot. Haha.


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

Victory

"Victory is won not in miles, but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more."

— Louis L’Amour

Lovers and Friends

I spent this weekend back in the Cruz. It was fairly relaxing for the most part. I needed a break from the stress that LSATs cause and I definitely missed my friends a whole lot. It was nice feeling like I was in school again.

I didn't help that I had this lingering LSAT cloud over my head. I have never been this determined to do well and I'm really proud of myself.

My friend TD gave my the William Fitzsimmon CD and I love it so much. All the songs are so beautiful and they have so much meaning. It's great. I listen to it when I knit the scarf that is now going to be his, because I owe him for all the music he's given me. It really calms me.

It's already the 12th day of the new year. I've spent most of it studying for the LSAT. It's really intense this time around because I'm not doing all the dumb things I did the first time I "studied" for it.

So let's see how I'm doing so far on my new resolutions.

• Cleared most of the clutter in my room. I could definitely clear more, but it's liveable.
• I do use my Wii Fit every morning, I lost close to 5 pounds already. Woo hoo!
• I'm learning about myself every day. It's a pretty amazing.
  

I feel like this blog has no real purpose so I'll see if I want to have a theme. Wait, I lied, I am the theme. HAH! Sucks for you.

Oh, one more thing: I would like to apologize to all that I have hurt at one time or another. You were each important to me and I should have respected you more. I did things that I'm not proud of and I probably should have thought more being saying or doing things. That is one thing I'm trying to work on. So I guess this theme of is becoming a better me. So thanks for being apart of my journey and I hope one day I can make you proud to say you knew me. Wow, that kind of sounds conceited. But I'm working on it!

Herro 2009

What a way to start the new year!

Also: No more douches! Ugh, what is up with these fools.